Random WoW Drabbles
by WolfPaladin
Summary: Just what the title says. All ridiculous stuff I find while playing goes here. Includes Guildnames, Signs of Too Much WoW, and other stuff you might suggest. So give suggestions, and I'll Drabble on them. In reviews. Now just read the damn thing. :P
1. Chapter 1

**_Just some random crazy stuff about World Of Warcraft. This section here is about crazy guildnames. You know any more, ping in reviews and they'll be added to the list!_**  
><strong><em>Also will probably update on other equally random stuff. When I'm in random moods.<em>**

**_And oh, I don't own WoW, and I most certainly don't own the Guildnames here. I found them over six years (God, has it been so long?) of playing like a maniac._**  
><strong><em>Anyhow, Enjoy!<em>**

**_And no, I don't like Doritos. Don't even ask.  
><em>**

* * *

><p><strong>Some insane Guild names -<strong>

- Roflcers of the Lawl

- We Pee in Moonwells

- She said she was Level 18

- Orcgasm

- Grand Theft Kodo

- The DaVinci Kodo

- Clones of Chuck Norris

- Is a Cookie

- If I die, It was Lag

- WTF Who Pulled

- WTTBROKENCAPSLOCKFORSPACEBAR

- Your guild name is too lon

- Slizzard Bucks

- Dude where's my Mount

- Legion of Saurfang

- We have Mankirk's Wife

- And two Stealthed Rogues

- Hordecore Pwnography

- Aint Misbehavin

- I'm so Hordie

- Gilneas Foreign Legion

- Naga stole my Bike

- At least we capped stables

- Holy Sheet

- Cookie Monsters

- It hurts when I PvP

- Exalted with ur Mum

- Naga belong in Slavepens

- Nirty Diggers

- Riders of Lohan

- Alexstraza's Harem

- Stop Inspecting Me

- Zug Zug

- You are not Repaired

- Read books Not Guildnames

- Undercity Elevator Victims

- Skill Capped

- AFK

- Murloc Holmes

- Murlocalypse

- Victorious Secret

- LazorGunzPewPew

- Less QQ More PewPew

- PonySlayStation

- DPS Delivery Truck

- Legalize Peacebloom

- Sapped Girls Can't Say No

- You No Take Candle

- I TAKE Candle

- Kiss My Axe

- GM

- Nightmare on Elf Street

- Oprah Windfury

- General Goods

- Innkeeper

- Garden Gnomes

- Not in a Guild

- Leather Gear Solid

- CAN I HAVE SUM GOLD PLX

- Jesus Was Soulstoned

- Power Word: Drunk

- Fat Kids Lag IRL

- Girlz Gone WoW

- STD is BOP

- OMG BRB ICE CREAM TRUCK

- Pitch Blease

- Holy Cows

- Legion of Headless Pandas

- Deathwing's Goons

- Kiss Our DarnAssus


	2. Chapter 2

****_Another bit of randomness on WoW. Some of this is HIGHLY bigoted. You have been warned!_

* * *

><p><strong>Taking a Dig at...Everyone.<strong>

**Draenei:**  
>- Space goats who come in a crash-landing starship with crazy warp drives. What's NOT medieval about it?<br>- My cousin is an Eredar Warlock and my sister works under the Shivarra. But don't worry, you can trust me!  
>- Ultimate pacifism.<br>- Velen knows how to grow a beard. And oh, do ask him about his tea session with Sargeras about 50,000 years ago.  
>- The men are twice the size of even a fat draenei girl. This is completely fair and legal.<br>- Yes, there IS an octopus on your face.  
>- When being 50 millennia old isn't old enough to make a plan to retake your home.<p>

**Night Elves:**  
>- Environmentalists gone psycho.<br>- The guys who ripped Azeroth a new one (_that is, if 10,000 years old is new_).  
>- Being feral is the new cool.<br>- Night Elves dance FTW. Night Elf girl dance especially FTW (_sorry males_).  
>- Being a wisp is nirvana. Really?<br>- A tale of two brothers - gone really bad. Especially when one is a sore loser. And the woman in question is a class-A moron.  
>- Na'avi from Pandora - just much shorter. And not as stupid.<br>- Melt into the shadows if you don't move...really, what a way to avoid paying your hotel bill.

**Gnomes:**  
>- PUNT THEM!<br>- Being eccentric right since...uh let me calculate that.  
>- When making honky-tonk machines which don't work is the idea of fun.<br>- Short enough so you miss them in BGs. Wish you could squash them as easily in real life.  
>- What happens when you don't clean your garden decorations.<br>- Gnomish Warlocks made the Gnomish X-Ray specs since they got tired of their succubi.  
>- Cheapskates <em>(All Gnomes are Level 85 NPCs)<em> who can't retake their town from weak troggs _(Level 12)_ and psychos _(Level 12 Irradiated Gnomes_) like themselves because they're still planning how.

**Orcs:**  
>- Green and NOT clean.<br>- Being a dick is their idea of pride.  
>- Zug Zug, Work work, Dabu, Swobu, what else? D-oh...what?<br>- Ner'Zhul was the Lich King, Gul'Dan was the most famous Warlock, The Twilight Hammer was a Horde clan. And you say you aren't inherently evil? Join the club!  
>- Thrall x Aggra = Metzen says - "You mad, bro?"<br>- When having just one axe is not enough.  
>- Cutting down trees in Ashenvale...for what? Bedroom furniture? Since we haven't seen WHAT all that wood is being used for.<p>

**Trolls:**  
>- Best place to chill out - Everywhere. We Trolls be always cool, mon!<br>- Felweed is our trademark food and drink.  
>- Ultimate expression of taking things in their stride.<br>- What's a trollface?  
>- Don't be shy? Not bad really, once you remove the tusks...<br>- Da horde iz our pepulhz. Except the Blood Elves.  
>- All trolls have Halitosis. Might explain why most people run away on seeing them.<p>

**Blood Elves:**  
>- If you're gay, racist, hypocritical or all or some of the above, this is the club for you.<br>- Lor'Themar who?  
>- At least the girls are nice. Now if only they ate something so they don't look anorexic.<br>- Mana-leeches can be Paladins? WTF?  
>- Our prince is great, our prince is gr- OMFG HE'S WORKING FOR KIL'JAEDEN!<br>- Why Illidan went mad - beyond what he is anyhow...  
>- Manaholics Anonymous.<br>- When being a floozy is becoming of high society.  
>- Riding a Chicken? Why not cook it?<p>

**Undead:**  
>- All they need now is Heavy Metal.<br>- No Nazi salute to Sylvanas?  
>- You only live twice...even if you're technically dead.<br>- No more chills to the bone...only the bone is left anyway.  
>- Have no life, but need a house and a city (<em>underground<em>).  
>- Taming Cockroaches as pets...eewww.<br>- Smelly breath is attractive for them, it seems. So don't go to the Undercity after eating Onion-and-Cheese chips...  
>- I...am...FORSAKEN. And big-boned, not fat!<p>

**Worgen:**  
>- DAMN YOU, TWILIGHT!<br>- Isolated bigots who became Wolves as they had nobody else to be Xenophobic against.  
>- Worgen women have six nipples...no thanks lady, I prefer you human.<br>- Am I into furries? Yeah, but that doesn't mean you drool all over me. You're a wolf, not a dog.  
>- Only thing Sylvanas fears more than herself.<br>- A WOLF druid in CAT form? FUUUUU-  
>- I'm pissed they can't be Paladins, so I call myself WolfPaladin to spite that.<br>- When does it NOT rain in Gilneas?  
>- What, no tip? No, protip - Go and kick Arugal.<p>

**Tauren:**  
>- Walk with the Earthmother. Sure, when Therazane goes for a Diet, I have no problem.<br>- HOLY COW. Since apparently Tauren Paladins are legal.  
>- Following the theme above, Red Bull gives you wiiings <em>(Or, at least Avenging Wrath does)<em>...  
>- Happy Tauren from Mulgore. Unhappy Tauren go to Blood Elf dinner-plates, the Grimtotem and Twilight Hammer.<br>- They're half-animals, and most of them wear Leather armor. What about this is NOT disturbing?  
>- There is STILL no cow level.<br>- Because a city on huge mesas is totally worth it.  
>- Still can't deal with wimpy centaurs, none of whom are above Level 50. So much for that Level 90 Elite Tauren Chieftain...<p>

**Dwarf:**  
>- One word - Drunk. Dwarven Priests even have a special spell - Power Word: Drunk.<br>- Long beards. How don't you trip?  
>- Ride the Lightning...or atleast a Gryphon.<br>- HAMMAH TIME!  
>- Have group, will drink.<br>- Dwarf women...OHMIGOD, MY EYES! THEY BURN!  
>- Got a huge blacksmith forge there. Has anyone fallen in yet?<br>- Stole all the tech from Gnomes. Heights of Plagiarism.

**Goblin:**  
>- One word - PROFIT!<br>- Your gold is welcome here. It's the only thing that is.  
>- When a hundred things going BOOM everyday is not enough.<br>- GTL friend - Gambling, Tinkering and Laundry,  
>- No lollygagging near a Goblin store - you might get blown up.<br>- Their idea of paradise is the Bank Vaults.  
>- Lost an island to the big, bad dragon. And have to answer to a big, bad Orc. And the leader is a dick. Sucks to be you, Bilgewater blokes.<br>- Time is money, friends are money, money is money. EVERYTHING is money. Except Azeroth...but we'll get to that eventually!  
>- Can sell Feathers to Arakkoa, and make a profit out of it.<p>

**Human:**  
>- You know what, let's not go here. We're bad enough as it is without me inventing fresh things to dig at...<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

**Signs you are playing too much World of Warcraft**

* * *

><p>- When you want your pet to come to you, you look for the spell tab button.<p>

- When your Microwave says "DING" you say "Gratz".

- When your Girlfriend/Boyfriend's Pants have a very low drop rate.

- And you actually spotted the loot reference in the statement above.

- When you call your Scooter your Journeyman Mount, your Car an Expert Mount and a Chopper a Mechano-Hog.

- When you call the policeman a city guard and poke him for directions (not always a positive result is had because of this, includes getting fadonked by the cop or some time in the cooler, or both)

- When you try to rename your pet, and curse when it doesn't work.

- You call a Board Meeting a Heroic-Mode Dungeon.

- You wonder why Sotheby or Christie's doesn't have an Auction Window.

- You around your head for a map when driving.

- Your alarm-timer is synched to the server timer for doing Dailies.

- When your friend suggests to raid the fridge, you ask if there's atleast two Healers and two Tanks.

- You and your spouse bicker over Gold in game and offline (no joke this, it happens a lot more than you think).

- You refer to your salary as Dailies Gold.

- Your PC is liberally littered with Doritos, Fizzy-Drink/Beer Cans and Burger-wrappers.

- You think that your Boss is OP.

- And that he uses Fear, Intimidating Shout, Piercing Howl and Demoralizing Shout all at the same time.

- You refer to getting busted for drunk-driving when coming home from a party in a crowded car as a Raid-Wipe.

- When you get a promotion, you call it an Acheivement reward.

- And look for the title or Drake mount that comes with it.

- You make obscure references to Illidan, Kael'Thas and Maiev when dealing with your friends who have had a drinking problem, OCD or infatuation for someone else's girl.

- You yell "Slizzard Bucks" for no apparent reason.

- You refer to sharks, manta-rays and mermaids as Naga and Makrura.

- Your name for a bulldog is Garrosh Hellscream.

- You think the Horde are "nice" becuase they're rebellious and the Alliance are "wimps" because they obey.

- When a political officer is assassinated, you wonder why there is no Achievement for it.

- You refer to your ordinary workdays as Instances and the Overtime as Heroics.

- Your account has the Last Visited time set to 5 minutes. Every time.

- When your Mom scolds you, you think Psychic Scream is being cast.

- When your Dad scolds you, you think he's using Intimidating Shout.

- When you catch an illness, you call it Bane of Agony.

- If the schoolyard bully knocks you out, you say he used Hammer of Justice glyphed.

- You call a fever and cold Resurrection Sickness.

- You are convinced that the Government is developing the Plague of Undeath as a secret weapon.

- You call proselytizing religionists the Cult of the Damned (especially the door-to-door ones).

- You called Osama Bin Laden the Lich King. (Heard this from a nutjob whom I call my best friend)

- And Adolf Hitler is Deathwing. (Heard this too, I kid you not)

- Whenever your car goes for repairs, you ask the Garage for a faction discount and a tabard.

- You think your Gun can be reforged (and you try anyway, with ugly results).

- You don't understand why there is no cow level.

- You habitually converse in Leetspeak.

- You call a wrestler a pure DPS guy.

- You call politicians ninja looters.

- When you see a Blizzard sign, you get fits or you switch into Fanboy/Fangirl mode.

- When you refer to the Devil as Sargeras.

- You call your favourite/important stuff the insert_item_name_here-bringer. Exaples being Cashbringer, Inkbringer, Eggbringer, etc. etc.

- You wonder why your priests in Temples, Mosques, Churches, etc. can't heal and wonder if they're OOM.

- If you feel tired, you say you are OOM.

- If you're feeling stupid, you say you're being mind-controlled.

- Your wet dreams are that of a Night Elf or Blood Elf (gender not specific - eep). Or worse, of the cookie-cutter humans in-game.

- You wonder if the chap giving you bad advice is a Black Dragon.

- In your astronomy session, you look in space carefully for Outland, Azeroth and the Twisting Nether.

- If you're being picked on, you refer to it as Camping and Griefing.

- You refer to a pickup truck or a bus as a Kodo.

- You think Skyrim is a copy of World of Warcraft.

- When you hear about Kings and Queens in history, you make comparisons with the Stormwind Royal Family and their satellites (or with the Lordaeron royal family).

- You call the North Pole and Scandinavian regions as Northrend, Africa as Kalimdor, Europe as Eastern Kingdoms, South America as Zandalari sectors and Asia as Pandaria.

- Whenever you see a Werewolf, you call it a Worgen. And you hate Twilight more than ever because of it.

- When you see the Goblins in Harry Potter, you wonder where all the technology has gone.

- You can read this insane listing, you can relate, and you've scanned through desperately looking for at least one term that didn't fit to save your sorry ass (and failed).

* * *

><p><em><strong>Cheerio! If you think of any more signs, tell me!<strong>_


End file.
